Don't Leave me Behind
by inspiration03
Summary: First Doctor who fanfiction. Something I came up with the idea for while in the middle of math.. 10/Rose A story where Rose doesn't know what to think. Is he really going to let her walk away?


**A.N. This is my first Doctor Who story and I want to know what you guys think. By the way I still don't own Doctor who... sadly.**

I sat and he stared. "What is it then?" I said. He had been staring at me for the past ten minutes while I read and it was beginning to worry me.

"Nothing." He showed no emotion, and if I had to describe one it would be annoyance, and looked away.

"Okay." My tone was unbelieving and I looked away. I simply went back to reading something I had found in the library.

It seemed that was how the days passed, for now. I relished in the peace we had gained this week, but I was wishing for him to say something that signaled that he thought of me the way I thought of him. I thought it was more than obvious that I had fallen irrevocably in love with this man in front of me. Was it the stupidest thing I had ever done in my life? Yes. Did I regret it? No. Maybe I should have regretted a bit of it and maybe I should not be flying in a flying blue box called the Tardis, but perspective.

Things had not really been the same since meeting Reinette. It was as if all the people I never wanted to think about coming before me banded together to taunt me. I saw my future as a blank spot in my life, but now I was worried about it being more dark than anything. Would he drop me the first chance available? I no longer feared death or oblivion. I feared the Doctor replacing me for someone prettier, like he had done to others.

"I am going to get some coffee, you want any?" We had landed in London, England a few years in the future, a place we were sure had no alien activity. Completely safe to any person, or alien for that matter, for the next month before trouble.

"Sure, can I come with?" His head poked from underneath the Tardis' grate-like floor.

"Course you can." I smiled at him as I tried to not let my emotions show and we headed to get coffee.

By the time we got back, my mum decided that this was the perfect time to literally drop into the Tardis. She just walked up and knocked saying she brought tea. It would be completely horrible to say I didn't want to see her, I missed her, but we still had three months before I was supposed to stop in to say hi. The routines did exist for a reason.

"Hello." I grabbed her for a hug and the Doctor ignore her presence.

"Oh come here you." She pulled him in for a smooch and he wiped his lips while throwing me a slightly playful but honestly a bit grossed out look.

"Rose, can I speak to you for a moment?" He ignored me as he spoke to my mother. "Do you mind if I steal her away real quick Jackie?" After his silent mood and he decided to talk? What could he want to say?

"That's fine, If you decide to do anything funny or take us to Mars I kick you. Are we Clear?"

"Yes ma'am." He said and I stared up at him confused. Grabbing my hand, he guided me to the nearest room.

The tension was obvious and I didn't dare to make the next move. Maybe this was it, it was that moment where this was the end. The last day of mine in the Tardis. My last day gazing at his wonderful face. My last day holding his hand and the last time I got to kiss him goodbye. But after everything, I wanted him. No matter the consequence. No matter how many times I had to try and convince myself that I could live happily somewhere else. I needed him as much as I need air. And maybe he would never feel the same.

"I'm not kicking you off Rose Tyler." He slowly closed the door, but didn't move

"Are you psychic now to?" He smiled with slight hesitation and stepped forward into a position on the other couch in this room. We sat in a strange silence for a few minutes before I spoke. "Well, what is it?"

"That's what I was hoping you could tell me." He said and sighed putting his face in his hands. His suit was wrinkling, he was as perfect as ever.

"What?" I was confused to say the very least about what he was trying to say. His face slowly lifted from his hands and he looked more vulnerable right then, than he had ever looked in his entire time with me. His eyebrows creased and eyes tired. The eyes are the window to the soul so they say.

"I- you- we. Let me start over." He laughed shyly. "We have been together through so much, and now in only days everything has changed. Why?"

"Doctor, what are you talking about?" Was it so obvious how I felt that it was beginning to show? Or was it that I had purposefully withdrawn myself from him simply to ease the future pain of being ditched somewhere ?

"Look, I'm not an idiot, so what is it? Did someone do something? Did I do something?"

"No! Well yes...well no. I don't know!" I threw my hands up exasperated and proceeded to pace in front of the couch. He did nothing but stare at me blankly.

"Doctor," He opened his mouth to interrupt. "Look, I need to say something. So don't you dare interrupt." I looked for confirmation and he nodded slightly.

"I hate you." He looked taken aback by the words until I could talk more. His lips opened and shut in seconds. "You have made me feel things that I haven't felt before and now, more than ever, I wish they would disappear. You left me with Mickey on that ship for five and a half hours Doctor! And with no sense of remorse may I add! You bastard!" I calmed myself with a visibly deep breath and continued. "And then seeing Sarah and how she was now and-" Another sigh. "I should thank you for what you did. It showed me how easy it was for you to just leave me. Maybe this was a good thing. I've said my piece, and we both know you agree with me. You don't need me Doctor. It seems you never have and probably never will. Is that something that I want to accept? Not as much as would make this really easy. I should go Doctor. And we are already here. You can send me off with her and never see me again. If you want me to go, say the word. You'll replace me faster than I can say goodbye."

His face was blank and he looked down. I counted the seconds that slipped by as I awaited an answer but none ever came as he kept staring at the ground. He did not look more than slightly conflicted as he looked up in utter silence. After many more seconds his face turned blank and he didn't say a word. He just stared, as though he had never seen me in his life.

I will be strong. I needed to leave, apparently not welcomed in here, and that was okay. Oh who am I kidding? it kills me. But he doesn't need to know that.

"Well then. That's all I needed to know." I try to smile as I fight back the tears. I have never run to my room so quickly, not even as a teenager when was sent to my room. The feelings I was having in that moment where more than I thought could exist. I heard the door slam against the wall in the room I escaped from minutes ago and knew it had to have been the Doctor.

It was silent throughout the entire room as I packed everything I owned into a bag. I felt a tear escape me and promised myself not to cry at least until I was rid of this situation. My hands moved shakily as they picked things up from the floor and the closet. I came across a picture we had taken in an old photo booth. The first one in history actually. I stuffed it at the bottom of my bag to serve as a reminder of good things. Walking became hard as the weight of my bag seemed twice as heavy.

"Mum, I think we should go." I told her and she silently looked up from her phone. Why was it so quiet?

"What's wrong sweetheart?" She looked over and the concern of a mother was written over her face.

I opened my mouth to speak as suddenly the weight of my bag disappeared and my bag's contents were all over the floor. "You have got to be kidding me." I muttered and began to squat down to pick up my things.

"Rose, wait." The Doctor was approaching me and I could hear his coat swishing against his suit. He sounded strong and confident and I realized his sonic screwdriver had opened my bag.

"What? I think you made it pretty clear back there what you wanted which is apparently nothing, as I never got a solid response, but I'm no idiot. I know what silence to that means and I don't plan to make your life more difficult than it needs to be because of some stupid reason. So Stupid! Stupid little Rose let herself fall for a man who can never feel that way about me. And if that means that you are letting me go as a result then I just want you to know Doctor. I don't regret a single part of it.. " I was whispering at this point and could feel myself fighting back the tears again.

He said nothing and simply walked less than 3 inches away from me. I could feel his breath on me and it smelled of mint. I could smell him and it was more comforting than anything else. He said nothing and I dared not to speak. He didn't say anything for a good minute and I resigned myself to the fact that he probably wouldn't. This was his way of saying goodbye. Saying my heart sank would be an understatement.

"Well, if that's all. If you just wanted me to say it again." The anger seeping through was apparent, but how could I be angry whatsoever? I had initiated the idea of me leaving but I wanted him to deny me of that. Wanted him to say I should stay. Maybe this was just the moment he had been waiting for. I had given him an excuse.

I tried to turn but he reached out and latched onto me. Clothes were pushed against my feet from the suitcase explosion. He leaned in and kissed me. It was soft and uncertain, like he didn't really know what he was doing and I closed my eyes. He looked unsure as he pulled back and looked into my eyes.

"I love you Rose Tyler, and nothing can ever take that away." He shook his head slightly and leaned in again. It was more sure this time than the last but it was short, me being the one to pull away.

"I love you too, but my mum is still on board." I half whispered half mouthed the ending to him and he looked up suddenly alert.

"Hello Jackie, do you mind if we ask you to go and we visit later?" He was polite and I looked up at him with a grin.

"More than happy. Have fun, but not too much." He smiled and I didn't even bother to look over at her. She left and we heard the Tardis door close as he leaned in for another kiss.

"So do you still want to leave then?" He asked devilishly and I laughed.

"Never, and you better help me pick up these clothes." I laughed again and he grinned. This was exactly what I needed, and it was never going to slip away if I had any say in it.


End file.
